Me, the mom's guide to the Iowa State Fair
The Iowa State Fair, how I love thee. I grew up near the fair, so it is somewhere I have visited for over 30 years and something I look forward to annually. When the family and I go we usually go for a 12 hour day. Walking in the gates at 8:30AM and out at 8:30PM. My husband loves it (this is serious sarcasm here. Truth is- he barely tolerates it.)
Many of my friends from back home share my love of the fair, and spend as much time (or more) there as I do. But I have many other friends who ask "What do you do for 12 hours?!?" or "I need to go with you so you can show me where to go." This is for you, people....
1. Get to the Fair early. It is so much more enjoyable in the morning. It's cooler, there's less people, and you can have Jr. Donuts for breakfast. If you arrive by 8:30 you will probably be able to find a parking spot on a nearby street (which may or may not make you wonder if your car will be there when you get back. And for my east side friends- don't get your panties in a bunch. You know I still love you. And you know it's true. There is some ghetto around the fair.) So set your alarm, get your kids up out of bed, pack the car the night before. Just get there people.
2. Ok. You are parked. You triple checked that your doors were locked. Make your way to Little Hands on the Farm. It opens at 9:00. They give little Pioneer visors away there until they run out. And the pictures will be so much cuter if your kid is in a visor. Bonus- your kids get to pick out a Bomb Pop, or OJ, or pop, or an apple, or an ear of sweet corn. (Seriously- raw sweet corn? who gets sweet corn? I'm not even sure if the ears of corn are real.)
3. What now? Well, what time is it? If it is near 10:00 head toward the Blue Ribbon Kids Tent. Sign up for the Fair Kid's Club and the kids each get a coupon book good for reduced price food all over the fair, even some free stuff (They may only give a certain amount of these away, so if you go later in the week you may be SOL). They also have crafts/activities each weekday. (*2017 Update- Blue Ribbon Kids Club is now located in the Fun Forest (north of Ag Building) and is offered twice daily 10 and 5 Mon-Fri)
4. Now head to the Animal Birthing Center. It's nearby and another great kid activity. If you're lucky you'll see an animal giving birth live. It happened to me once and I'll never be able to forget it. The vet had his hand so far into the mommy goat that it made my innards hurt. But really, most of the time it is totally un-traumatizing.
5. By now your kids' sugar buzz has worn off and you are tired of walking. It's probably close to lunch time. Go get some food. Sit in the shade and watch a show. Pray that the afternoon doesn't get too much hotter.
6. Ready to walk again? Head down the grand concourse. Hopefully you reminded your kids before you came that the fair is not for riding midway rides. If not, you may have to fork out $$ to avoid a tantrum. Go to the Hall of Law and Shopper's Mart under the grandstand. Your kids can learn to stop, drop, and roll and you can pick up some awesome as seen on tv stuff. I mean, who doesn't need a Sham-Wow.
7. Next stop- Varied Industries Building. Stand in line to see Clifford. Enter a drawing for some windows. Enter a drawing for some siding. Don't worry- you'll never win. But they will call and harass you because they have your number now and they know you'd like new siding and windows. Head to the south hallway of the building for some free popcorn and salsa samples. If you like quilting, head into the quilting room to see beautiful designs that you'll never have the patience or time to do. Take the elevator upstairs to see other cool things you'll never be able to do.
8. Keep heading down the grand concourse to the DNR building. Lots and lots of fish. Big ones, small ones, ugly ones. Look at the duckies outside on the little pond. Count the turtles. Enjoy the shade.
9. Now you're near the petting zoo. Free to enter. $1 for a Dixie cup full of food. $5 for the family size. But wait you think, can't I just visit an animal barn? No. Go to the petting zoo. Where else will your kid see a zebra, porcupine, turtle, and a kangaroo all hating their lives in little hot cages? And beware of the goats. They like to steal Dixie cups full of food. (*2017 Update- the Petting Zoo has now moved to the North of Little Hands on the Farm. Perfect time to fit the petting zoo is after Little Hands or after the Animal Birthing Center.)
10. Guess what- you've now made it to the north west end of the fair. So far no hills, so you shouldn't be too tired yet. Are you having fun yet? (If you are my husband, the answer is no.) You have some options now. You could head south and hit up the 4H building and horse barns. In the 4H building you'll see lots of cool stuff some teenager made. You'll then realize that all these teenagers have way more talent and ambition than you ever will. But guess what, you are an adult and can go to the store and buy the same thing. Take that awesome-4H-building-kid.
11. Wait, what time is it? If it's between 1-5 go back to the Kid Zone and hit up Art Attack. Free craft activities for the kiddos. Painting, Clay forming, and a different craft daily. 10 lucky kids get to throw a pot on a spinning wheel each hour. They hand out numbers for that at 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, and 3:45. Warning- throw a pot once and your kid will want to do it every year. The pottery wheel is pretty popular so you may want to arrive at a :35 to see if the line for numbers has started yet.
12. Have you gotten Jr. Donuts yet? If not, go there now. You need some sugar anyways. And they are. So. Good. Do not even think about buying a funnel cake. These are way better. (And for the record, it is Jr. Donuts, not J.R. Donuts. I know it's easy to get confused- especially if you are a ditzy high school cheerleader. (In my defense- the "R" in their sign should not be capitalized.))
13. Agriculural building is next. Free egg on a stick and some pork. And your kids can plant a seed which is going to be a pain in the a** to carry around the rest of the day. And who can forget the butter cow? But the real reason you should visit the ag building is upstairs.... the VitaMix guy. It can make ice cream AND soup and you can't even taste the pineapple rind he threw in there. Ah-mazing.
14. If you went down to the horse barn, hopefully you stopped by and saw the avenue of breeds and the biggest boar and biggest bull. If not- head down that way. Beware of the manure.
15. If you already saw the animals, start heading up the hill. The kids can play in the Hy-Vee Fun Forest. Or maybe you can convince them to watch a kids show so you can finally sit down.
16. Now that you're half way up the hill, go to the Cultural Center and look at the photography. Or leave the kids with the hubby and walk up there yourself. It's not kid friendly.
17. On your way out of the Cultural Building stop by Expo Hill. There is usually a high-flying act that your kids will enjoy. And you can sit.
18. Get up. Go to Grandfather's barn. Watch some people stomping grapes. Try some Iowa wine. Wonder why you just walked up that huge hill for this.
19. Want to see some rabbits? Go to the bunny building on your way down the hill. Stop and watch the chainsaw wood carver.
20. Good news- it's time to eat again. Grab a beer too. You deserve it.
21. If you are here on the first two days of the fair go to the stage formerly known as the AE stage and watch the Nadas. If you're here any of the other 9 days, find someone else to watch. Sit and drink your beer until your kids drive you nuts and force you to stand up again.
22. Alright- I'm tired, sweaty, and I want to go home. But I forgot to let the kids ride the Giant Slide. Go to Giant Slide. Go down the Giant Slide. You know you want to.
23. Go find your car. Hopefully you remembered where you parked. And hopefully it is still there.
So that's my 12 hour day at the Fair. Anything I've missed? Please let me know- I'm always looking for things to add to my annual fair itinerary!
Many of my friends from back home share my love of the fair, and spend as much time (or more) there as I do. But I have many other friends who ask "What do you do for 12 hours?!?" or "I need to go with you so you can show me where to go." This is for you, people....
1. Get to the Fair early. It is so much more enjoyable in the morning. It's cooler, there's less people, and you can have Jr. Donuts for breakfast. If you arrive by 8:30 you will probably be able to find a parking spot on a nearby street (which may or may not make you wonder if your car will be there when you get back. And for my east side friends- don't get your panties in a bunch. You know I still love you. And you know it's true. There is some ghetto around the fair.) So set your alarm, get your kids up out of bed, pack the car the night before. Just get there people.
2. Ok. You are parked. You triple checked that your doors were locked. Make your way to Little Hands on the Farm. It opens at 9:00. They give little Pioneer visors away there until they run out. And the pictures will be so much cuter if your kid is in a visor. Bonus- your kids get to pick out a Bomb Pop, or OJ, or pop, or an apple, or an ear of sweet corn. (Seriously- raw sweet corn? who gets sweet corn? I'm not even sure if the ears of corn are real.)
3. What now? Well, what time is it? If it is near 10:00 head toward the Blue Ribbon Kids Tent. Sign up for the Fair Kid's Club and the kids each get a coupon book good for reduced price food all over the fair, even some free stuff (They may only give a certain amount of these away, so if you go later in the week you may be SOL). They also have crafts/activities each weekday. (*2017 Update- Blue Ribbon Kids Club is now located in the Fun Forest (north of Ag Building) and is offered twice daily 10 and 5 Mon-Fri)
4. Now head to the Animal Birthing Center. It's nearby and another great kid activity. If you're lucky you'll see an animal giving birth live. It happened to me once and I'll never be able to forget it. The vet had his hand so far into the mommy goat that it made my innards hurt. But really, most of the time it is totally un-traumatizing.
5. By now your kids' sugar buzz has worn off and you are tired of walking. It's probably close to lunch time. Go get some food. Sit in the shade and watch a show. Pray that the afternoon doesn't get too much hotter.
6. Ready to walk again? Head down the grand concourse. Hopefully you reminded your kids before you came that the fair is not for riding midway rides. If not, you may have to fork out $$ to avoid a tantrum. Go to the Hall of Law and Shopper's Mart under the grandstand. Your kids can learn to stop, drop, and roll and you can pick up some awesome as seen on tv stuff. I mean, who doesn't need a Sham-Wow.
7. Next stop- Varied Industries Building. Stand in line to see Clifford. Enter a drawing for some windows. Enter a drawing for some siding. Don't worry- you'll never win. But they will call and harass you because they have your number now and they know you'd like new siding and windows. Head to the south hallway of the building for some free popcorn and salsa samples. If you like quilting, head into the quilting room to see beautiful designs that you'll never have the patience or time to do. Take the elevator upstairs to see other cool things you'll never be able to do.
8. Keep heading down the grand concourse to the DNR building. Lots and lots of fish. Big ones, small ones, ugly ones. Look at the duckies outside on the little pond. Count the turtles. Enjoy the shade.
9. Now you're near the petting zoo. Free to enter. $1 for a Dixie cup full of food. $5 for the family size. But wait you think, can't I just visit an animal barn? No. Go to the petting zoo. Where else will your kid see a zebra, porcupine, turtle, and a kangaroo all hating their lives in little hot cages? And beware of the goats. They like to steal Dixie cups full of food. (*2017 Update- the Petting Zoo has now moved to the North of Little Hands on the Farm. Perfect time to fit the petting zoo is after Little Hands or after the Animal Birthing Center.)
10. Guess what- you've now made it to the north west end of the fair. So far no hills, so you shouldn't be too tired yet. Are you having fun yet? (If you are my husband, the answer is no.) You have some options now. You could head south and hit up the 4H building and horse barns. In the 4H building you'll see lots of cool stuff some teenager made. You'll then realize that all these teenagers have way more talent and ambition than you ever will. But guess what, you are an adult and can go to the store and buy the same thing. Take that awesome-4H-building-kid.
11. Wait, what time is it? If it's between 1-5 go back to the Kid Zone and hit up Art Attack. Free craft activities for the kiddos. Painting, Clay forming, and a different craft daily. 10 lucky kids get to throw a pot on a spinning wheel each hour. They hand out numbers for that at 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, and 3:45. Warning- throw a pot once and your kid will want to do it every year. The pottery wheel is pretty popular so you may want to arrive at a :35 to see if the line for numbers has started yet.
12. Have you gotten Jr. Donuts yet? If not, go there now. You need some sugar anyways. And they are. So. Good. Do not even think about buying a funnel cake. These are way better. (And for the record, it is Jr. Donuts, not J.R. Donuts. I know it's easy to get confused- especially if you are a ditzy high school cheerleader. (In my defense- the "R" in their sign should not be capitalized.))
13. Agriculural building is next. Free egg on a stick and some pork. And your kids can plant a seed which is going to be a pain in the a** to carry around the rest of the day. And who can forget the butter cow? But the real reason you should visit the ag building is upstairs.... the VitaMix guy. It can make ice cream AND soup and you can't even taste the pineapple rind he threw in there. Ah-mazing.
14. If you went down to the horse barn, hopefully you stopped by and saw the avenue of breeds and the biggest boar and biggest bull. If not- head down that way. Beware of the manure.
15. If you already saw the animals, start heading up the hill. The kids can play in the Hy-Vee Fun Forest. Or maybe you can convince them to watch a kids show so you can finally sit down.
16. Now that you're half way up the hill, go to the Cultural Center and look at the photography. Or leave the kids with the hubby and walk up there yourself. It's not kid friendly.
17. On your way out of the Cultural Building stop by Expo Hill. There is usually a high-flying act that your kids will enjoy. And you can sit.
18. Get up. Go to Grandfather's barn. Watch some people stomping grapes. Try some Iowa wine. Wonder why you just walked up that huge hill for this.
19. Want to see some rabbits? Go to the bunny building on your way down the hill. Stop and watch the chainsaw wood carver.
20. Good news- it's time to eat again. Grab a beer too. You deserve it.
21. If you are here on the first two days of the fair go to the stage formerly known as the AE stage and watch the Nadas. If you're here any of the other 9 days, find someone else to watch. Sit and drink your beer until your kids drive you nuts and force you to stand up again.
22. Alright- I'm tired, sweaty, and I want to go home. But I forgot to let the kids ride the Giant Slide. Go to Giant Slide. Go down the Giant Slide. You know you want to.
23. Go find your car. Hopefully you remembered where you parked. And hopefully it is still there.
So that's my 12 hour day at the Fair. Anything I've missed? Please let me know- I'm always looking for things to add to my annual fair itinerary!
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