When I grow up
When we are young we're told that we can do anything we want, be anything we want to be, go anywhere we want to go. The world is your oyster. The sky's the limit.
But is it really true?
After years of searching, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a singer. And not just a singer, I want to rock. When Bring me to Life by Evanescence comes on the radio, I see myself performing it on a stage in front of thousands. And believe me, it is quite an impressive performance :-)
I love music. I love the way it makes me feel, the way it captures emotions, the way a song can immediately take you back to a certain moment or time in your life. When I hear Wonder Wall by Oasis, I think of a house we used party at in High School where some younger girls played it over and over. When I hear Casting Crowns' Praise you in this Storm I think of the baby I lost and all the tears I shed. When I hear TNT I think of the sauna parties a fraternity across the street used to have when I was in college. The list goes on and on. So many memories triggered by just a few lyrics, or the opening riff of a song.
I enjoy singing and performing. It's a cool (and totally overwhelming) feeling when all eyes are focused on you on stage. But I will never sing for thousands. You see- I'm just not that good. God did not give me the talent to go on tour and fill stadiums. Could I pursue it? Well, sure. Would it be totally futile, embarrassing, frustrating, and unfulfilling? Yes. I simply will never be a rock star, no matter how much I think I want to.
So onto plan B... if I can't be a singer, I think I'd like to be an actress. Same rush from being on stage and performing, but also the same hangup- lack of talent. Plan C takes me in a little bit different direction- a graphic designer/photographer. I dabble in these a little by taking pics of my kids and designing my scrapbooks, but I'm still left with the same major problem- a lack of God given talent.
I'm still working on a plan D, but I'm holding little hope that it will pan out either. Which brings me back to my original point... Can we really be anything we want to be?
I just don't think so.
It's probably too late for me anyway. At 34, I don't see a major career change coming my way anytime soon. But how do I build my kids up to make them think that they can do anything while still being realistic about life? How can I determine their talents and what makes them happy and gently steer them in that direction? We are all born with different talents, intelligence, personalities, and things that drive us. We are all uniquely suited to do something in life, the key is figuring out what.
I may never sell out stadiums with my voice. Scratch that- I will never sell out stadiums with my voice. But singing in the car and dreaming about my amazing performance makes me happy. I may never do a play on Broadway, but I enjoy performing on our stage at church. I may never be a professional graphic designer and photographer, but I love capturing my children in photos and preserving our memories.
I can't be anything I want to be, but I can be perfectly happy and content doing a little of it all.
But is it really true?
After years of searching, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a singer. And not just a singer, I want to rock. When Bring me to Life by Evanescence comes on the radio, I see myself performing it on a stage in front of thousands. And believe me, it is quite an impressive performance :-)
I love music. I love the way it makes me feel, the way it captures emotions, the way a song can immediately take you back to a certain moment or time in your life. When I hear Wonder Wall by Oasis, I think of a house we used party at in High School where some younger girls played it over and over. When I hear Casting Crowns' Praise you in this Storm I think of the baby I lost and all the tears I shed. When I hear TNT I think of the sauna parties a fraternity across the street used to have when I was in college. The list goes on and on. So many memories triggered by just a few lyrics, or the opening riff of a song.
I enjoy singing and performing. It's a cool (and totally overwhelming) feeling when all eyes are focused on you on stage. But I will never sing for thousands. You see- I'm just not that good. God did not give me the talent to go on tour and fill stadiums. Could I pursue it? Well, sure. Would it be totally futile, embarrassing, frustrating, and unfulfilling? Yes. I simply will never be a rock star, no matter how much I think I want to.
So onto plan B... if I can't be a singer, I think I'd like to be an actress. Same rush from being on stage and performing, but also the same hangup- lack of talent. Plan C takes me in a little bit different direction- a graphic designer/photographer. I dabble in these a little by taking pics of my kids and designing my scrapbooks, but I'm still left with the same major problem- a lack of God given talent.
I'm still working on a plan D, but I'm holding little hope that it will pan out either. Which brings me back to my original point... Can we really be anything we want to be?
I just don't think so.
It's probably too late for me anyway. At 34, I don't see a major career change coming my way anytime soon. But how do I build my kids up to make them think that they can do anything while still being realistic about life? How can I determine their talents and what makes them happy and gently steer them in that direction? We are all born with different talents, intelligence, personalities, and things that drive us. We are all uniquely suited to do something in life, the key is figuring out what.
I may never sell out stadiums with my voice. Scratch that- I will never sell out stadiums with my voice. But singing in the car and dreaming about my amazing performance makes me happy. I may never do a play on Broadway, but I enjoy performing on our stage at church. I may never be a professional graphic designer and photographer, but I love capturing my children in photos and preserving our memories.
I can't be anything I want to be, but I can be perfectly happy and content doing a little of it all.
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